my 47 minutes inside a networked agency

okay first off, it really has been a while & I’m sorry dear readers

Last week, I got a rather excited phone call form a recruiter, a very good recruiter at that. He said I may have an opportunity for you at (leave blank) they wanted me to go over there this afternoon, my initial reaction was, it is the afternoon. Anyway never let the truth get the way of good story. So I go over to this agency armed with my laptop with presentation of all of my creative campaigns on it.

I arrived at (leave blank) it is huge reception decked out with furniture from a Conran store has a profound stench of wee…?! very polite girl on reception immediately says it doesn’t always smell of wee, it’s just worse today.

okay good start. I hang around reading the trades whilst the woman who is interviewing me (a copywriter) she spends 10 minutes laughing and flirting and chatting with some colleagues before she walks over to me. She doesn’t say “sorry kept you waiting while you watch me piss about with some others in my department of course none of it was important and now I have less time to spend with you” even though we could be sharing an office the three months

We wonder about the faceless, shapeless, meaningless area (leave blank) call a creative department. Finally we find a meeting room which is available with the precursor “because she didn’t book any rooms we may well get kicked out” ~ wow this is going really well I haven’t even to show my work yet.

We spent 15 minutes talking about her social live, where she drinks where she lives ect then she clocked my wedding ring and we start talking about work. She wants to talk about my showreel that she’d seen on-line “why did I do in this style; how do you do it; who did I get to do it” etc. I simply said “I edited it all myself on my laptop on Final Cut Pro not just that, the music that I cut my showreel to was also of my own doing again on my laptop”. She almost fell off the chair looked at me and said “f**king hell is there anything you don’t do”

I replied “body copy & headlines”

It was about the worst interview/meeting I have ever had: I was shocked and surprised and disappointed all in the same breath. It is a process that goes two ways. What part of an interview to somebody who is indoctrinated & interned by a large networked agency do they believe that was acceptable. The last time I had a meeting or interview that was this bad was when I was told that I was too experimental and not traditional enough and that the work I was doing would never really amount to anything. That agency closed its doors for years later. I regard what I did then to be quite commonplace and standard today.

So, we talked a bit about the project. She didn’t have a brief. She wasn’t sure exactly what the client wanted but she did know that they already had a delivery date because being part of the big network agency a media plan had already been devised and sold to the client. As much as I did my best to be professional and polite I really just wanted it all to be over so there is my 47 minutes inside a networked agency for you

8 minutes of that was pure bullshit
15 minutes were spent listening to her crap
9 minutes were spent talking about the project
10 minutes were spent waiting
5 minutes were spent trying to find a room

in the same week Lord Puttnam said:

“Those agencies that can see the future is exciting and make hirings that are not traditional. Those hanging on to the old business model – we both know who they are – need to know that it’s a model that’s all but bust. But it’s the one they know”

As with the banking industry, once upon a time nobody would have believed that a bank as old successful and well respected as Lehman brothers were could have collapsed.

and it did

therefore dear reader I predict the total and utter collapse and downfall of the agency known as (leave blank)

oh and as I left, there I was in the elevator with some other (leave blank) staffers, who did not think to keep they’re thoughts to themselves, started really slagging off (leave blank) agency, saying how much they hate the place. as a creative you just fit right in, like camouflage…

so the folk over at (leave blank) agency are all assholes then….

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